Then why in the world have I been walking around like a zombie all week? Why have I had to put way too much effort into concentrating on work? Why have half of my days been spent with tears in my eyes and an empty feeling in my heart?
I feel like part of me has died.
Yes, that sounds dramatic. Yes, I wish I was kidding. No, I am not kidding. At all.
I didn't want to talk about it. Especially on this blog. But I can't pretend it's not happening. So I'm just going to say that I am sad. And confused. Did I mention really sad?
Let me vent a little. Please. And thank you in advance.
My school holds a huge place in my heart. It's where I found myself. It's where I found my best friends. It's where I met the love of my life. It's where I received an education that got me the amazing job that I have today. It's where I spent 48 hours dancing to cure cancer. It's where I learned about life, setting goals, and dreaming big.
Our dog is named Coaly, after the first official mascot. Little Hailey is nicknamed the Nittany Brittany. They both wear blue and white collars. My husband came thisclose to getting a tattoo from a bet in the 2005 season. (That's one thing those two seconds in the Michigan game were good for.) Every room in our house features some sort of poster/artwork/momento of our time there. We have alma mater-engraved champagne flutes: forever true to you, a fitting wedding gift. The Nittany Lion was at our wedding. We talked about moving to Happy Valley and raising a family there. A family that, if it were lucky to include a boy, would perhaps have the middle name Joseph in honor of several people in our lives. My husband has approximately 40 t-shirts. Three of them are for the Steelers, Pirates and Penguins, respectively. The rest...well you get what I'm saying.
It's been a gut-wrenching week in the Mason house. But always and forever, FTG.